A LIST OF THINGS FOR MY REAL AND FAKE FRIENDS

  1. Trident for my real friends, Orbit for my fake friends
  2. Poutine for my real friends, French Fries for my fake friends
  3. Netflix for my real friends, Hulu for my fake friends
  4. Smart Water for my real friends, Poland Springs for my fake friends
  5. Everclear vodka for my real friends, everclear for my fake friends because honestly that's all I can afford
  6. iPhone 6 for my real friends, Nokia flip phone for my fake friends
  7. Chipotle for my real friends, Panera for my fake friends