Ranting in the car about lyrics: "The Good Stuff" by Kenny Chesney

Because sometimes I take song lyrics too literally when I listen to the radio. I actually like this song. But some of the lyrics are just ridiculous.
  1. He didn't reach around for the whiskey/He didn't pour me a beer/His blue eyes kinda went misty/He said you can't find that here.
    He is not a good bartender. Who tells their only customer they can't find anything good there?
  2. And droppin' the ring in the spaghetti plate/'Cause you're hands are shakin' so much
    Who proposes over spaghetti?
  3. Eatin' burnt suppers the whole first year
    First, why is he assuming only the woman is going to be cooking? Second, why are newly married people assumed to be terrible cooks?
  4. He grabbed a carton of milk and he poured a glass
    What kind of bartender keeps a carton of milk at the bar?
  5. But I've been sober for 3 years now
    Oh, okay. The recovering alcoholic bartender kind. Obviously.
  6. He said, when you get home she'll start to cry/When she says, I'm sorry, say so am I
    Make sure she apologizes first, though. Don't want to set any precedents here.