ACTUAL INJURIES I'VE HAD IN MY LIFE

  1. Broken ribs from falling Into toilet
    Stood up but leg was asleep from using laptop for 30 minutes
  2. Tooth pierced lower lip while playing catcher in baseball game
    After waiting over an hour for emergency room doctor, he told me to pull my lip out of my tooth and sent me home
  3. Broken arm from crashing bike while riding through condominium construction site
    I was 11 and it was a shortcut that saved me two blocks, so it was worth it.
  4. Large cut on my leg which got infected when I crashed my bike after swerving to miss a cute little dog in a bike path
    Happened 40 years after the broken arm, so apparently I'm a slow learner
  5. Concussion while playing dodgeball in gym class
    Same thing happened to my daughter 35+ years later, so apparently my impressive level of coordination and athletic skills were passed on.