Inspired by @siddharthainc
  1. Cleveland ruining some poor bastard's career. Like this guy.
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  2. Or this guy
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  3. Or this guy
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  4. Or this guy
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  5. Or this guy
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  6. Etc etc
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  7. Thomas Dimitroff's hair will be a better football player than any Falcons pick in the third round or later.
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  8. Derrick Henry will be called a bust waiting to happen because of Trent Richardson and Mark Ingram.
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  9. Jets fans will be upset about anything and everything.
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  10. Mark Davis will have the worst haircut of any millionaire in a thousand mile radius.
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  11. Bill Belichick will be grumpy in some kind of sweatshirt.
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  12. Roger Goodell will still be a piece of walking, talking feces.
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  13. The phrases "runs downhill," "has a good motor," "arm strength," "pounds the rock," and "football IQ" will be used liberally throughout the broadcast.
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