THOUGHTS THAT ARE KEEPING ME AWAKE AT 6AM

Gather around for this one, children...
  1. Does my cat think her flamingo toy is her baby? Should I talk to the vet about it?
  2. That one kid who was always mean to me at school then confessed his love for me on the last day. Just looked him up, he is now a famous football player.
  3. Why is our dog licking the pillow? Why is she so fucking loud?
  4. I hope my Environmental Sciences teacher accepts my friend request.
  5. How the fuck am I gonna get lip filler when I'm petrified of needles?
  6. Why didn't @AsaAkira warn me that after someone cums in my butt, it doesn't just somehow get absorbed? Instead you just poop cum for the rest of the day.
  7. Why isn't this list app more popular?
  8. Why am I not more popular on this list app?
  9. When can we start buying followers for this?
  10. I shouldn't have eaten that minced turkey. Note to self: don't eat the fucking minced turkey from Whole Foods. It's always a disappointment.
  11. I got a custom made shirt and then realised I made a typo but it's so cute and so expensive I'm not willing to fix it.