TIPS FOR MARRYING A FRENCHMAN

...and bringing him back with you to San Francisco to live forever.
  1. Let him get a 4 foot long green iguana because, let's face it, it really reminds him of home and who am I to prevent him from reminiscing about his childhood jungle in Versailles
  2. Introduce him to American football, and allow him to believe that "bandwagon fans" are all the awesome, enthusiastic people who join the band when things get exciting- the best kind of fans!!
  3. Never correct his pronunciation to keep your edge over lusty ladies. When no one else understands him, you'll be there. And because mounTAINS sound much more thrilling than mountains.
  4. Get over your lactose intolerance, preferably before he moves in. Otherwise, make sure he has an Asian-attitude toward bowel-talk.
  5. Accelerate the speed at which you consume red wine by at least 5x. Unless you don't want any at all, in which case, be prepared for extreme judgement. French people have hardcore RBFs too.