THINGS I LEARN WHILE WAITING FOR THE PUB QUIZ I TURNED UP TOO EARLY FOR TO START
- •Don't park your bike right outsideIf you do then you can't go hide round the corner till other people arrive because when you leave at the end they're going to see the blue speed demon outside was yours all along and that you were hiding round the corner
- •Cranberry juice is crazy cheap here
- •Oh god! Cranberry juice is disgusting here
- •The barman is staring at me. Just keep typing.
- •It helps to have a distinctive back of headThe people I know just arrived and didn't recognise the back of my head. Now I have to just pop up in front of them like a needy David Copperfield. If only I had a mullet.
- •Straws don't look manlyEspecially in a virgin vodka and cranberry
- •Baseball is a thingAnd it's happening and sometimes people cheer but I can't tell who they're supporting or what the score is
- •I can't stay listing forever.Bollocks. I'm just going to go for it and introduce myself, order hummus and fail at this quiz.
- •EDIT - Mistake madeThe person I know isn't here. Quick! Keep listing!