Aw hell.
  1. I want to..
    But I can't..
  2. Because my nightstand looks like this..
    And that doesn't even include the bookshelf in the guest room..I will.never.catch.up.
  3. My cat, while insanely adorable, insists on licking herself incessantly, and therefore pukes up hair balls at an alarming rate..
    See, she's cute, right? But jesus, cat, STOP LICKING!! So over it.
  4. The best part of Bad Moms was the soundtrack..
    It had so much potential..
  5. That the hospitality manager of the place we stayed in Savannah, didn't answer my emails regarding my stolen jackets, until I posted a review on Tripadvisor..
    Within hours. But then he backpedaled. And lied. Not cool.
  6. That the super cute capris I ordered online were "cancelled"..
    So, I'm guessing a bunch of other people also thought they were super cute and they sold out before I got mine. Boo.
  7. So, I really want to eat that chocolate chip banana bread I made for my man yesterday, but VACATION.
    And I should have taken losing a few pounds more seriously. Like a month ago.
  8. Pottery Barn sent us our special order couch with the chaise on the wrong side, and the white (stark white) loaner is starting to look, um, less white.
    And it's BUGGING THE CRAP OUT OF ME because I have used up an entire bottle of hydrogen peroxide already, trying to remove virtually every smudge of coffee, wine and chocolate. Before you say, why are you doing any of those things on a white couch, don't.
  9. My boss has been significantly more interested in watching salsa dancing videos than being productive.
    And it seems like he's just watching dance porn at work. Ew.
  10. When I dropped my brand new Venus razor in the shower this morning and the blade fell off but I couldn't see to put it back in..
    Because I can't see anything anymore without my glasses. And who keeps those in the shower?! But I should just get in the habit of taking them with me because sometimes, when I'm in a hotel, I can't tell the shampoo from the conditioner. Ugh.
  11. That Duolingo somehow thinks I need to tell someone their cat is black, while visiting Paris..
    I can think of more important conversational skills I'd like to have. They still haven't told me how to ask where the bathroom is and I'm on level 3! I know I can google that, but just sayin.
  12. Did I mention the squirrels and their mess?!
    Damn them.