WHEN CALLING YOUR WIFE AN IDIOT IS THE LEAST OFFENSIVE THING YOU SAY
Sometimes there are no words.
- •So, I clean teeth for a living.And I have heard quite a lot of things from my patient's mouths..
- •A li.st's worth, in fact..Working on it.
- •But today, well, I was actually speechless.Which RARELY happens, trust me.
- •We have TV's in the ceiling.It's actually really nice for them, and usually equally so for me, save the political climate right now.
- •This afternoon, I'd had enough, so I tuned in HGTV.(I usually give them a choice, but not today!)
- •My last patient of the day, a man not much older than I am, whom by the way, I've known for years, says to me..(referring to Chip and Joanna, from Fixer Upper)
- •"I like these two, but you know who I can't stand, those two q______s on that other show. That's what they call themselves, right?"
- •"Uh, (stunned silence) you mean the Property Brothers? Who are ACTUALLY BROTHERS?? And no, that's not at all what they call themselves, wow."
- •~makes some joke about how that's even worse~(obnoxious laugh)Silence for the next 45 minutes..
- •As I'm taking off his bib and dismissing him (SO appropriate), his phone rings.I see it says CHERYL, and I know it's his wife because I clean her teeth too.
- •(Ringtone, in a robotic voice) "An idiot is calling your cellular device"..😳😳😳😳😳😳
- •"That's your ringtone for your wife"?!In the most incredulous voice I could muster.
- •"Yeah, (laughing), she hates it!"
- •"I can't imagine", I say.I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.