YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLDER WHEN

"Young at heart, slightly older in other places" Unknown.
  1. •
    You used to pinch an inch but now it's more like a handful.
    When did this happen?
  2. •
    You have to have things "burned off".
    My dermatologist, because apparently he thinks he's funny, likes to call them barnacles. We don't have the same sense of humor.
  3. •
    Men look at your daughter (s) instead of you.
    Weird phenomenon.
  4. •
    You wake up with that weird crease in the back of your hair when you get out of bed in the morning .
    What the hell is that??
  5. •
    Mammograms (and colonoscopies).
    Torturous. I've yet to be "scoped" but it's coming soon and it sounds horrific.
  6. •
    Your metabolism slloowwwwweed down a tad.
    What metabolism?
  7. •
    Your eyelids start to sag.
    WTH.
  8. •
    Other things start to sag.
    FU.
  9. •
    You care less.
    About what people say, about unnecessary drama, about their bullshit.
  10. •
    You care more.
    I feel more compassionate than I did in my youth.
  11. •
    You want less.
    Stuff. Cluttering up your space, both literally and figuratively.
  12. •
    You want more.
    Empathy, kindness and understandingđŸ’—