MOST IMPORTANT LESSONS I TEACH MY STUDENTS...

... That have nothing to do with my subject
  1. If I catch you cheating, don't do it again!
    For real, I'm watching you now!
  2. Also if I catch you cheating, admit it.
    You'll make out a lot better with me if you just admit and tell me how much you regret that moment of weakness, than if you lie and get angry and berate me. The first strategy makes me feel for you and want to help you do better. The second makes me want to grade the heck out of everything you do for a long time.
  3. Take advantage of unexpected opportunities.
    If I give the chance to come in and redo a section of the test, do it! I'm not always in such a good mood.
  4. Respond to my attempts to help you
    If I walk by and tap your desk and say "look at that activity again," I'm doing it for a reason.
  5. Stop snap chatting!
    I know you are doing it. While you are snap chatting, chances are good you are missing me giving the answers for test questions.
  6. Laugh at my jokes
    They really are funny.
  7. When the principal come in the room, be on your best behavior.
    He's not just watching me; he's watching you too! If you make me look good, I'll appreciate it, perhaps while writing the next test.
  8. Don't take advantage of a nice teacher
    I have a tub of free pencils for you, don't break them. I asked you not to throw things, don't do it. We are actually playing a fun game for once, don't ruin it by using inappropriate language.