These are all recorded reactions from my boyfriend watching Sorceror's Stone for the first time.
  1. (About the Dursleys) "Why are they such assholes?"
  2. "Is that Dumbledorf?"
  3. (About Ron and Hermione) "They're going to get married."
  4. "Quibbitch? Quibirch? What is it?"
  5. (About Petunia) Her sister is Harry's mom? MOTHER F*****!
  6. "Mother f****** Voldemort. That's who!"
  7. (About McGonagall) "I'm not afraid of the fairy godmother. Is she a good witch or a bad witch?"
  8. "I can't believe that Quirrell is the bad guy and that Potions guy is good!"
  9. (About Snape) "Wait, is he good?"