THINGS MY BIO SHOULD SAY

  1. Uses the poop emoji way too often
  2. Fights hard for the induction of candy corn into the food pyramid
  3. Believes "Broncos Orange" is an actual color in the Crayola big box
  4. Dies a little inside every time she turns a "page" on that paper-killing kindle. (It's for the environment, ya'll!)
  5. Most certainly will, with his approval, leave her husband for Dwayne Johnson on a moment's notice
  6. Thinks she can get down with this list making forum