MY FIRST YEAR OF MOTHERHOOD IN SELFIES

  1. 8 months pregnant: Best friends already
  2. 9 months pregnant: you've been warned, fetus.
  3. Our glamorous Oscar party
    Husband asleep on the hospital cot, 2 day old baby asleep under lights (wearing her eye protection), me underwhelmed with NPH
  4. It only took 3 weeks and 337 viewings of a YouTube video, but I finally figured out how to carry her in a wrap.
  5. Hiding out in the car
    Five minutes prior to this picture: we're waiting at the AT&T store for new iPhones, running on no sleep, trying to figure out how to get the baby in the stupid wrap. She is screaming. Another customer sidles up to us. "How old is he?!" We ignore her. "EXCUSE ME, how OLD is he?" Husband has hanger-induced tantrum. I excuse myself to the car to feed the baby a tiny bottle.
  6. Attempting to work out with an exercise routine I ripped out of a fit pregnancy magazine I stole from the OB's office. Wearing wet diapers on my boobs because breastfeeding is PAINFUL Y'ALL
  7. One of her first smiles caught on camera. Obtained by singing "here comes the sun."
  8. Maternity leave: equal parts snuggles and Kimmy Schmidt
    Females are strong as hell!
  9. Family photo on the nursery floor
  10. Heading out the door for the first day back to work
    I was an hour and a half late.
  11. My work acquired a selfie stick in my absence, I wasted no time putting it to use.
  12. Meeting on campus. Pumping in the parking lot of a frat house.
  13. Outing to the farmers market. Ordered a breakfast burrito. Ate half of it, spilled the other half on baby's head.
  14. Harvesting radishes from our garden. I managed to successfully raise a baby all summer... Can't say the same about a garden.
  15. Much needed break: Birthday weekend dance party workout on a rooftop.
  16. When it rains, we go for walks at the art museum.
  17. Multi tasking: eating corn on the cob and nursing at the state fair.
  18. Just the squad
  19. A short lived routine: commute to daycare, nurse in the backseat while listening to The Current
  20. Just learned how to grab. NOTHING IS SAFE.
  21. WHAT IF SHE WERE TRIPLETS OMG HELP
  22. Pumping on the bathroom floor with your besties
  23. The original family
  24. Motherhood means learning how to pee with another human strapped to your chest.
  25. Day off of work. Baby in daycare. My plan: get a massage and an ice cream cone. 👊🏻
  26. Oh shit, she figured out climbing. ⛰
  27. Current favorite game: what's on mama's head?!
  28. 💕