GIFTS I'VE PURCHASED FOR EACH FAMILY MEMBER DURING THIS HOLIDAY SEASON AND WHY
Sorry I've been quiet, folks. It's been such a busy Christmas!
- •My wife, Christine: A Dyson cordless vacuumBecause she sucks the life out of the room. Just kidding, sweetie!
- •My son, Tyler: A Super Nintendo WeeHe kept asking for an X Box, but I found a Nintendo that was just as good for a third of the price!
- •My daughter, Michelle: 8 packs of Tylenol Severe Cold medicine.A strength thing she put on her wish list, but I'm just happy she's looking after her health. They were a pain in the butt to buy, though. Had to go to four different pharmacies to find them!
- •My son, Christopher: A "hover board."I don't know why they call them that, they don't even float! But he sure does love it. I tried using it but fell right in my rear end!
- •My best friends Montgomery, André and Jordan: Season tickets to the Chiefs!They were super excited! They said that I was the coolest white guy they knew. Such a compliment!
- •My mailman, Mike: a "get well soon" card.Mike just got out of the hospital following his assault in the parking lot of a Menards. He's looking pretty good, all things considered.