I JUST GOT HOME FROM THE SUPER BOWL! IT SURE TAKES A WHILE TO WALK FROM SAN FRANCISCO TO KANSAS CITY

  1. As some of you know, I got to go to the Super Bowl last month. It was amazing!
  2. Unfortunately, when we were leaving the stadium, our host Mateo was arrested by the police!
  3. I tried talking to a representative from State Fram, but when I told them my story, they just laughed in my face and hung up.
  4. My daughter Michelle made friends with some guy named "Schmon Schmiller." She went to talk to him for about fifteen minutes in the bathroom of a Burger King, and convinced him to give us 15 thousand dollars!
  5. Michelle told me she was going to buy us a car, but, after waiting for two weeks, she never came back for me!
  6. I started walking, and just kept on going! I got attacked by wolves, almost lost my left foot to frost it in the Rockies, and went to a delightful Stonehenge replica in Odessa, Texas.
  7. I just got home, and Michelle was there! So was our mailman, Mike, keeping an eye on my wife Christine! I'm so lucky to have a friend like Mike.