MY BIGGEST REGRETS

Christine and I had our neighbors Timothy and Karen over tonight and we hit the sauce a little hard. I'm a pretty lucky guy, but boy are there some things I regret.
  1. Getting injured while at Perdue and not being able to go pro.
    Don't get me wrong. I love my family! But if I got a chance to play professional football? Man that would have been sweet. Maybe I would have been able to marry Farrah Fawcett like I always dreamed of! But, you tear an ACL, and it's goodbye future. Carpeting has been pretty good to me, though.
  2. Not marrying my wife sooner.
    Christine is my partner and my best friend. I just wish I had married her the day I met her, rather than a year later!
  3. My daughter, Michelle.
    I love her. So, so much. But dang it, I just don't know where I went wrong with her. She's a real handful, and living with her roommate in Baltimore doesn't seem to be making her any more mature. We all go through wild phases in life, but that girl's started her first day of elementary school! I can't count on two hands the number of literal fires she started. She's a good kid underneath it all, but man do I wish I could understand her. I just don't want to fail her as a father.
  4. Drinking as much Suttter Home as I did tonight.
    Boy, my head's sure going to be sore tomorrow!