MY WIFE CHRISTINE IS BACK HOME! AND SHE HAS A FANCY NEW CAR!
- •I woke up this morning to the greatest gift of all: my wife, Christine, back from her kidnapping ordeal!
- •She told me that she was taken by some bad guys, but managed to get away because she loves me so much!
- •She managed to snag a car from the guys who kidnapped her. A brand new Range Rover! I told her to consider that her Christmas gift, since I just spent 75 thousand dollars trying to get her free!
- •The kids are overjoyed! Michelle even called to apologize to me, saying "I guess you aren't the gigantic piece of S- that I always thought you were."
- •On a weird note, I don't seem to have gotten any mail throughout this entire ordeal. Any other Kansas City folks experience that?
- •I'm so happy to have my wife home! Life can finally go back to normal.