WELL, OL' DAD IS NOW AN INMATE AT JACKSON COUNTY CORRECTION FACILITY

  1. Mad Dog brought me in last night. I cried the entire time I was booked and processed! The guards said they'd never seen someone so terrified to be there.
  2. When I was walked to my cell, all the other prisoners kept making missy noises and screaming "New Fish!" I'm not sure what that means, but I don't think I like it!
  3. I met my cell mate, Kyle. He doesn't seem like such a bad fella. He likes the Chiefs too!
  4. The food is terrible! And such small portions! Seriously though, I found a whole mess of band-aids in my scrambled eggs.
  5. I'm not sure if it's like this on every jail, but the guards do seem to like making us prisoners dress up like famous First Ladies and kiss each other. I portrayed Eleanor Roosevelt!