I'm currently locked up because the state believes I murdered my wife (I didn't!) but prison sure is a lot different than I would have expected!
  1. My cell mate Kyle and I both got parts in the prison's production of Cats!
    Kyle is playing Macavity, and I'm playing silly ol' Bustipher Jones! It's a dream come true!
  2. Lil' Boots from the kitchen decided to let me cook up my famous Kansas City-style burnt ends!
    We didn't have all the ingredients, but I made something pretty close out of expired lunch meats, ketchup, and instant noodle seasoning! And best of all? No band aids in them!
  3. MS-13 sponsored a salsa dancing tournament!
    Everyone wanted to dance with me! I was literally the bell of the ball!
  4. I got to watch my Chiefs play the Broncos!
    Apparently Two-Time Thomas and Rodney Meat-Hook weren't too happy about the outcome, because they pulled out screwdrivers and started going at each other in the last five minutes of the game!
  5. The Aryan Brotherhood put on a crafting workshop!
    I made friendship bracelets for my kids. I hope they visit me one day so I can give them their gifts!