WHAT I LEARNED FROM SPENDING THE DAY IN JAIL

The police took me in for questioning in regards to my missing wife Christine, but my new lawyer Jerry got me out on bail. I sure learned a lot about jail today!
  1. The other inmates don't take kindly to a grown man crying for 8 hours straight!
  2. Don't tell anyone why you're there, or you'll be labeled "that tub of lard that killed his wife."
  3. Getting hit with a baton really, really hurts!
  4. No matter how much you beg or plead, the guards won't let you out.
  5. Jail smells like the bathroom at BW3 on Super Bowl Sunday!
  6. Your cell-mate will want certain things from you. Things you won't be comfortable with.
  7. Guards sure do like taking photos of your nether regions in their phones!
  8. Your children will NOT come to visit you, no matter how scared you are.