WHAT I MISS MOST ABOUT LIFE OUTSIDE OF PRISON
I've been in jail for nearly 48 hours now. Boy howdy do I sure miss my life before all this happened.
- •No Thursday Night FootballSure, they let us watch the Sunday and Monday games, but it just doesn't feel like Thursday night without NFL network.
- •My kids, no matter what they said about me this morning on "Good Morning America."Kids, we have that show in here. Please don't refer to me as "double-Hitler" or "a s- covered f- stick." The other inmates heard what you called me and now those are my nicknames!
- •Eating a meal without finding band aids in it!I don't know where these band aids keep coming from, but I can hardly take a bite of my baked potato or Chicken a la Steve without finding a band aid in there.
- •My wife, ChristineNo matter what the police, the courts, that bounty hunter, the media, my kids or anyone else says, I know Christine is out there. I'll rescue you, honey!
- •Being able to poop without another man making direct eye contact the entire time.My cell mate Kyle is a nice enough fella, but he has a bad habit of always being around when I need to BM!