1. Must start with a capital letter.
  2. Must include a special symbol ($?!)
  3. Must include the date you lost your virginity.
  4. Must include the name of the person you lost your virginity to.
  5. Must include the location.
  6. Must include description of the feel of the bed, floor, or surface it happened on.
  7. Must include how you feel about it: Were you really ready, or just doing it because everyone else was?
  8. Please include whether, in retrospect, what you felt was love or not.
  9. Now you're ready to start shopping at TJ Maxx Online!