REAL GOOD ZINGERS IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF THE COFFEE YOURE POURING IS DECAF

Written by Rhonda, waitress at Jim's Country Diner since 1962
  1. It's got an orange handle, don't it?
  2. Does this handle look orange to you, buddy?
  3. Is the Pope Catholic--and is this handle orange?
  4. Are you colorblind? Because that's the only reason it might be acceptable for you to ask me this question when I'm clearly holding an orange handle in my sassy diner waitress hand.
  5. Look at me. Now look at this orange fucking handle you fucking moron and don't you dare ask me another question ever again. I swear to god. I swear. On all that is holy.