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  1. Bubbles
  2. Sidewalk chalk
Comes out of nowhere every time.
  1. Re: Mad Men: "I've forgotten things you haven't even seen yet!"
    Just because I got a couple seasons behind doesn't negate the fact that I introduced you to the whole show, MOM!!!
  2. Fb comment on a picture of me: "Great picture but your eyes look tired."
    As opposed to the rest of me which looks wide awake??? This one is confusing. And rude to put on social media tbh.
  3. "It's not my fault she can't keep up!"
    Said in reference to my Aunt Mary not me so actually I find this one pretty funny.
3 more...
Inspired by Kerper
  1. You need a reagent. It's not where it should be. It's not in the lab. You check the inventory and it is not there. You used it yesterday.
  2. Your instrument is not working. You call someone to fix it and the error is gone. You never see that error message again. Alternatively: Your instrument is not working. You call someone to fix it and they do. After they leave the same error returns. They cannot come back. They have moved on.
  3. You are running a TLC. You have been running this TLC for hours, checking its progress every so often. It should have been done in five minutes. You are staring now. You blink. It has overrun.
4 more...
I am just too lazy to write them myself.
  1. Why Is Target So Addictive?
    Despite the fact that no one item costs over twenty bucks, trips to the superstore regularly cash out at over $100. This article written by someone other than me explains in depth how Target created a store where it is literally impossible to come out with only the items you came in for and nothing else.
  2. No One Really Has It Together
    This super reassuring article exposes the truth of what we’re all thinking: that no one really has it together and everyone hates adulthood. The central premise is that it’s okay to not have your life fully planned out, or be behind at work, or eat sandwiches for dinner some nights because you hate cooking and/or forgot to go to the grocery store, especially if you’re a Ph.D. student named Dana. Would love to just read this and also get the word out there.
  3. Common Scientific Inaccuracies in Cinema
    We all know that the science in movies is utter garbage. In this article someone (not me) does the research and finds out the most common scientific myths in movies and instead of pedantically correcting them, investigates them from a critical point of view in terms of how they serve the creator’s intentions. What a fresh take!
  4. Why Are We, As A Society, Not Talking More About The People Who Get Trampled To Death Every Year On Black Friday And What Does it Say About Our Consumer Culture?
    Just need someone else to acknowledge how UTTERLY INSANE it is that this happens??????
  1. Jar of jelly (did not break)
  2. Phone (did not break)
  3. 2 TLC plates
2 more...
These words show up in crossword puzzles all the damn time and in real life almost never.
  1. Arid
  2. Ennui
  3. Née
  1. On a post-it note stuck to a $5 bill: "This is for soup or ice cream."
  2. Re: a charity fashion show her friends organized: "I was not asked to model."
  3. "The less you hear what people say about you the better... And I do have trouble hearing."
7 more...
  1. The most precious
  2. My eyebrows
  3. Glasses model
7 more...
It lives in the basement where I am currently sleeping while we're here for Thanksgiving and has been going for 30 minutes with no signs of stopping. At 7am.
  1. I Know Why the Washing Machine Squeaks
  2. The Squeak and the Fury
  3. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Squeaky
  4. The Unbearable Loudness of Squeaking
  1. Happily living out the rest of my days stress-free as a barista in a cool coffee shop
  2. Just going home and chilling with my parents for a while not doing anything
  3. Opening a bookstore
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