THINGS THAT WENT THROUGH MY MIND WHEN I REALIZED THE TAMPON WAS STUCK

This is not my proudest moment.
  1. Tampons don't break, do they?
  2. Oh shit. Nope, they do.
  3. Ok, I'll be able to get this out. No big deal.
  4. Turns out this is a little difficult... I wish my finger had a predator mouth to grab onto this.
  5. Do I tell my mom? Is it going to be awkward if I tell my mom.
  6. Mom says take a bath. What motherly advice.
  7. Fuck. This isn't any easier.
  8. I'm going to need to call the doctor.
  9. I really really hope I don't get Toxic Shock Syndrome. This is what they warn us against, isn't it?
  10. Pray for me. This is the nadir of my existence thus far.