WHAT I WANTED TO BE GROWING UP, CHRONOLOGICALLY

  1. Construction worker
    Because I wanted to be everything my dad was after my parents' divorce.
  2. Babysitter
    Because I liked babies (mostly dolls).
  3. Hairdresser
    Because I liked touching girls' hair.
  4. Famous pop singer
    Not just any old shitty singer.
  5. Dancer
    Because my cheer coach complimented my dancing.
  6. A blind or deaf person.
    So people would think I was interesting.
  7. To get cancer.
    Because I wanted to write a book about dying in my prime as I did it.
  8. Writer.
    Made it.