1. "Do you want me to say my last name the right way or the way you think it sounds?"
  2. "You eat vegetables?"
  3. "No one goes to bed until grown men are drunk enough to dance in the kitchen"
  4. "We smuggle mushrooms from Poland through customs to make legit-ass soup"
  5. "Christmas day is a hangover holiday."
  6. "Heels are acceptable pilgrimage footgear."
  7. "Cheetah print is the national pattern of Polish women."
  8. "No one cleans my house better than I can"
  9. "No REAL work can be done on a computer"