EACH HOUR OF WORK I SPENT WEARING SHOES WITH NO SOCKS (WITH COMMENTARY)

An eight hour shift I spent without socks on because I got locked out of my house and couldn't get socks to put on
  1. Hour 1: Genesis
    No foot-sweats. I feel confident. Like just maybe I'll persevere. I celebrate with a breakfast sandwich.
  2. Hour 2: A turning of tides
    I don't know if it was the salt in the processed meat or the bold flavors of the western omelette, but something in that sandwich brings about a certain familiar humidity. This is the first time I've noticed how my body handles the abuse I put it through in eight months.
  3. Hour 3: A fracture in the levee
    I hold steady. Someone comments on the fact that I'm not wearing socks. I explain that there was "no time to get socks," which makes perfect sense if you already know the details of my morning.
  4. Hour 4: Lunch
    Had lunch
  5. Hour 5
    A whirlwind. I had to turn on a dime and slid in my shoe
  6. Hour 6
    I tried doing work to distract myself from the Disgusting Predicament. when it became clear that this would not help, I resumed not doing work
  7. Hour 7
    I cold-called a pastor seeking advice. When it became clear that this would not help, I resumed practicing my existing religion (worshipping professional athletes. Very strong people!)
  8. Hour 8
    I left an hour early and bought new shoes, which were dry