THINGS THE BAY AREA HAS TAKEN FROM ME

Physically and metaphorically
  1. My thick skin
    When I first moved here, I scoffed at the locals breaking out their hats and gloves in 50 degree weather. I still do, because I'm a generally smug person, but now I'll also complain a little bit.
  2. My blind trust of pizza
    Used to be you could stumble into any corner pizza place and grab a slice of greasy perfection at any time of day or night. Not the case in the Bay, my friends! There are one or two places that do the trick for me (notably Arinell on Valencia) but for the most part, to quote Inside Out, "congratulations San Francisco, you've ruined pizza!"
  3. My phone
    After just one week of living in Oakland, my phone got jacked at gunpoint. See my list "Things I Did Wrong When I Got Mugged" for the hilarious details
  4. My computer
    In what I can only assume is referred to as "The Ol' Oakland 1-2", my house was broken into and my computer taken, just days after my phone was stolen
  5. My mashup of Frozen's "Let It Go" and Flo Rida's "Low"
    Technically, this falls under the category of "my computer" (back your shit up, people!), but that track fuckin ripped so it gets its own bullet
  6. My bike
    The plan: bring in my groceries real quick, don't get distracted by the internet, don't forget my bike is outside, bring it in ASAP, DON'T GET DISTRACTED BY THE INTERNET. What do YOU think happened, dear reader?
  7. My childlike sense of wonder
    Unclear whether this was the Bay Area or just growing up. Either way, fireworks have lost their sparkle.