SOME STUPID SHIT MY CATS HAVE SAID TO ME RECENTLY

  1. I couldn't find that ladybug you wanted me to kill and eat. I totally looked.
  2. We're so glad you brought home this baby, who drools and cries and tries to rip off our faces. It's awesome that you guys never pay any attention to us. So happy for you. Mazel!
  3. This is super comfortable, really.
  4. We have achieved detente. This is some next to Nixon-to-China shit. We will never again scream at one other in the middle of the night at the foot of your bed. We will never again chase one another across your prone bodies while you sleep. F'realsies.
  5. Can we watch Wolf Hall instead?