ARTICLES OF CLOTHING THAT MAKE ME SAD
- •Vests with hoodsCan be either a vest meant for formal occasions or outerwear. Why are your ears so cold, but your arms are fine? You might have poor circulation and you should see a doctor but you should NEVER wear a vest with a hood.
- •Crop TopsSad because I can't wear one... I'm hoping these come back in style soon (and also that my bod gets good enough so I can actually wear it and not make other sad).
- •BeaniesWhy is the temperature difference between your ears and the back of your head so great that you need to precariously perch a knit hat on the back of your head? Don't even get me started on beanies in the summer. So tragic.
- •Rimless glassesPrimarily because the people who wear these cannot be trusted (they're probably time travelers from the 90s who have come to steal our medicines/almanacs if my viewing of Back to the Future means anything).
- •ScrunchiesLet them go, DJ Tanner.
- •Lily Pulitzer anythingPlease don't wear a tablecloth and call it fashion. This isn't project runway, you aren't making anything work.
- •Kitten heelsSuggested by @sophia
- •Bucket HatsUnless you're on a hike. If you're at a bar, just go home and ask your mom what's wrong with you.