ARTICLES OF CLOTHING THAT MAKE ME SAD

  1. Vests with hoods
    Can be either a vest meant for formal occasions or outerwear. Why are your ears so cold, but your arms are fine? You might have poor circulation and you should see a doctor but you should NEVER wear a vest with a hood.
  2. Crop Tops
    Sad because I can't wear one... I'm hoping these come back in style soon (and also that my bod gets good enough so I can actually wear it and not make other sad).
  3. Beanies
    Why is the temperature difference between your ears and the back of your head so great that you need to precariously perch a knit hat on the back of your head? Don't even get me started on beanies in the summer. So tragic.
  4. Rimless glasses
    Primarily because the people who wear these cannot be trusted (they're probably time travelers from the 90s who have come to steal our medicines/almanacs if my viewing of Back to the Future means anything).
  5. Scrunchies
    Let them go, DJ Tanner.
  6. Lily Pulitzer anything
    Please don't wear a tablecloth and call it fashion. This isn't project runway, you aren't making anything work.
  7. Kitten heels
    Suggested by   @sophia
  8. Bucket Hats
    Unless you're on a hike. If you're at a bar, just go home and ask your mom what's wrong with you.