THE FIRST TIME I GOT DRUNK:

  1. I had just graduated high school.
    Such a fucking loser, I KNOW.
  2. I was camping.
    This seems like a good idea right?
  3. It was also the first time I got high.
    I literally walked around saying "guys I'm faded. IM FADED."
  4. I drank a gallon of water that night.
    Only because my throat was LITERALLY on fire from smoking and I was coughing so much. I'm such a babe.
  5. A girl I only barely knew who worked with my brother told me she was attracted to my brother.
    I was like "????? Who gives a shit? He's been dating the same girl for like three years?"
  6. I ate a single slice of cookie cake and proclaimed "I could motorboat this cookie cake right now."
    People still won't let me live this down. I also have yet to have another cookie cake that was this good. It's my white whale.
  7. I straight up slept in the dirt.
    I was drunk so I didn't care.
  8. I woke up without a hangover.
    It was so magical. I woke up feeling 💯💯 and I thought "I should have done this sooner!" Little did I know it was because I woke up still drunk...
  9. The hangover started.
    I thought I was dying.
  10. I got home and went straight to bed.
    I also vowed to never taste alcohol again.
  11. A pic from the day in question:
    I was still sober and so full of life. That "temporary" tattoo lasted for practically a month. The "party/camping trip/cluster fuck" was 'Murica themed. People obviously chose two different routes.