If I were a dictator, all of these would be capital offenses.
  1. Going the speed limit in the passing lane on the highway.
    Self explanatory. Work ends at 9:00pm and my shows start then so you better believe I am speeding the entire way home.
  2. Sending a snapchat video.
    It's always such a ordeal to open these. Like I obviously need to listen to it with sound, so I have to pause my music and then plug my headphones into my phone. Normally they aren't even worth it.
  3. When your food comes at a restaurant and someone says "that looks yummy" you are being rude if you don't offer them a taste.
    Most of the time people don't even say yes because it's such a hassle to coordinate the effort of even giving them a bite.
  4. Talking during a movie.
    I don't like guns enough to own one, but I swear to God if you talk during a movie I will go go gadget my arm into a glock and pop you full of holes! (That last part should be read like I actually know what I'm talking about.)
  5. Speaking at all when 'Clean' plays.
    Off of 1989. If I have to clarify this further, unfollow me and delete this app.
  6. Reminding someone that their pet looks old and will probably die soon.
    I actually do this quite a lot because all of my friends pets aren't cute enough. The pets also aren't friendly so I'm basically telling my friends they have poor taste in companions.