1. "Listen to me cabeza de huevo"
    My aunt to her husband, she called him an egghead
  2. "He's 28 and works at Claire's...isn't that so pedo?"
    Distant cousin talking about her recent ONS
  3. "You want more potatoes?" "I can't I'm on a diet" "fuck your bad vibes bro"
    Seriously, who diets on thanksgiving?!
  4. "You forgot to buy beer?!" "WHAT?!" *cursing in Spanish* *chaos* *screams* *apocalypse*
  5. "I am so thankful that approximately 50% of you can't make it to my wedding, thank you for saving me thousands of dollars"
    My cousin, completely serious. Don't blame her 😂
  6. "Coffee's like crack to white people"
    My little cousin, reciting Bring It On
  7. "I had to delete snapchat because it was stressing me out, and I just don't need that kind of negativity in my life you know?"
    Someone's new girlfriend
  8. "Where's the wine?"