REASONS TO LIGHT MY TOP SHELF CANDLE

  1. Finding $50 or more on the street
  2. A celeb fav's or RT's me
  3. I didn't fuck up quinoa on the first try
  4. A person buys me a meal and my order adds up to over $100
  5. I have an adult growth spurt (1/2 inch+)
  6. Going a full day without making fun of a family member.
    Internally or out loud