thoughts i have while eating a salad for lunch

  1. "Just left yoga... I should eat a salad!"
    yoga is healthy and salad is healthy, right?
  2. "Man, salad is expensive"
    $7 for some leaves?!
  3. "I wish I'd saved the $7 and bought pizza instead"
    while walking past the pizza place on my way home 😩
  4. "My roommates must think I'm so healthy"
    I walked in the door carrying a yoga mat AND a salad. HEALTH GODDESS. *note: I don't think they care
  5. "Alright, this isn't so bad"
    Salad isn't the WORST thing I've eaten
  6. while eating salad
  7. 10 mins later
  8. "How am I STILL eating this???"
    I think it's been 25 minutes and I'm still eating this
  9. "This is like the story of the Maccabees but the oil is this salad"
    literally never ends. I'll be here for 8 days at least
  10. Tick tock, it's STILL salad time
  11. "At least I'm starting to feel full"
  12. *1 hour after finishing salad*
    I NEED REAL FOOD