TYPICAL AMERICAN REACTIONS TO FINDING OUT I'M BRITISH

After attending the University of Wisconsin for the past 2.5 years, a pattern emerged with how Americans react when finding out I'm from England.
  1. They think I'm Australian
    The accents are about as similar as American, and well... Australian
  2. People want to hear me do an American accent
    That's just what I wanted to do! Why would me failing to mimic your accent improve this interaction?
  3. They then assume I want to hear their attempt at an English accent
    Thanks for butchering my accent - yes we do all talk like an 80 year old man from Downton Abbey
  4. They ask me who is my favourite member of One Direction
    Who was the one who left? Him, because now there's only four more who need to leave
  5. They assume I know their friend who lives in England
    It may be smaller than America, but we have more than twenty people... Do you know this guy I met once ten years ago in Texas?
  6. They ask me to say 'aluminum'
    And then make fun when I say it correctly...
  7. They ask me how much I love the Queen
    As much as I love the next 80+ year old women...she rocks the crown though
  8. They bring up how England lost the war of Independence
    Well done.... We obviously still take that loss very hard, as seen by the fact I'm here... In America
  9. They ask my thoughts on Harry Potter
    Of course, the only book/movie released in the whole history of my country... We never did anything else.. And yes, Emma Watson is very pretty, and no, England is not full of girls who look like Ms Watson
  10. They assume I play cricket and drink tea all day
    Well.... I do, but the point is that it's not nice to stereotype