11 CHARACTERS I CREATED WITH 2 TOWELS / 2 PAIRS OF SUNGLASSES WHEN I HAD FAR TOO MUCH TIME ONE DAY

I am available to play all of these characters in major motion pictures.
  1. 1.
    María de Nicuesa: Madrid, mid-17th c.
    She is a noble lady in the Spanish Empire whose hobbies include eating grapes and chilling in general, also drinking wine and painting with other lady pals lol kind of like me when I used to smoke weed.
  2. 2.
    "Titties": Boston, 2014
    This is a frat boy at BU named Greg who people call "Titties" **WHICH I HATE** and he is going to a toga party where he will get too drunk and call his mom crying and say that he misses her which will actually be really great for her because he's her baby and she misses him too, the old him, when he was Greg, before he became "Titties."
  3. 3.
    Olga Pazinski: Warsaw, 1912
    Olga is not cool or chill to be honest hahaha but ok to be fair she lives in the basement of a wealthy family's country home and has to sweep, press linens, prepare pierogis etc. also the young children kick her when she passes and chase her / swat at her with large branches when she is going to the well to fetch water :-/
  4. 4.
    Kenny Sunbeam: San Francisco, 1975
    Kenny is a performance artist who just sort of walks around Haight-Ashbury smiling as pictured, maybe he plays a tambourine if he's feeling a little sad or passes out flowers to the weirdos. Also he will live a very long time and marry the nicest lady in California and have six kids that will inherit his good will and only resent him for having been so disorganized and forgetful in their youth but who will hold him and his playfulness in their hearts forever.
  5. 5.
    A Wandering Peasant: Rome, 11 BC
    A mute peasant wandering around the Roman Empire who doesn't have much in the way of coins/property but who is very wise/dope and has a cloak (pictured), also may see prophecies.
  6. 6.
    Prince Simon II: London, 1582
    MISSING FROM PHOTO: CROWN/JEWELS. This is my stock Prince character. He's just like a pretty reasonable and fun Prince who loves poems and making **CONSENSUAL** love to ladies especially the ladies with those hats that are long pointy cones with scarves coming out of them, but probably he is not super compassionate to the poor/needy which is definitely a bummer in my opinion.
  7. 7.
    Rose: Ithaca, 1991
    Rose is not doing very well. She is getting older which sucks because she does contact improv on nights and weekends, it's all that brings her anything resembling inner-peace, and also her upstairs neighbors have been VERY noisy through a brutal upstate New York winter. BUT... EPILOGUE: she will be very happy/fulfilled/chill in the 2000s when she becomes a grandma.
  8. 8.
    Terry Flink: Hollywood, 1955
    Terry is a fancy motion picture director who came from France with his wife who is an American actress (has anyone read "The Dud Avocado" - think: Sally) but ok anyways Terry is a closeted gay person sadly who will smoke a million cigarettes and drink a million scotches and then die in the hills. (RIP)
  9. 9.
    Goody Anne Winston: Salem, 1870
    You guys let's cut to the chase: Anne is definitely a witch and she wrapped herself in a shawl and then went into the woods and took off all her clothes to dance/chant but she kept the shawl on (as pictured) cause that part was still witchy/made her feel sexy (in a witchy way)
  10. 10.
    A Cool Ghost: Everywhere, ??
    Self explanatory but yeah this is a ghost/deity/spirit who is also just very cool lol.
  11. 11.
    A Merchant In A Dust Storm: Morocco, 1927
    Ok to be fair this is the last one and I'm sort of running out of steam here so I didn't research things that were happening in Morocco in 1927 (potential sub-list for another time) but I'm sure there was maybe/probably a dust storm there that year (??) and this merchant (selling spices/tiles/candles) suffered it badly and it was very painful for his business and maybe even his daughter was swept away in it?? Hahaha the last part is a stretch but who knows the 20s were crazy.