CHARACTERS FROM MY LOVE LIFE, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

Yes I am fully aware that I'm only using List App to work out my romantic past.
  1. ONE OF THE STRAIGHT GUYS I FELL IN LOVE WITH - BOSTON
    HOW WE MET: We were in a play together and in the play we were lovers and I fell for him hard. He was very sad like an old golden retriever and once he kissed me on a roof in real life and my whole heart broke and I went crazy. HOW IT ENDED: I bought him the biggest beer in Boston which you can buy at The Pour House on Boylston like truly the biggest beer ever. We drank beer and tried to talk about it but didn't know how to, I pretended it didn't matter to me but it did and that was that.
  2. MY FIRST BOYFRIEND - BOSTON/LA
    HOW WE MET: At a Halloween party. I was dressed as Romeo and he was not in a costume because he's that kind of person. We kissed in the kitchen and went home together and laughed a lot, he texted me the next day and then every day after that for a long while. HOW IT ENDED: Geography. Also I found out he had started dating a past contestant of a reality show he was freakishly obsessed with. (See: "8 RANDOM SENTENCES I OPENED UP TO IN MY PERSONAL DIARY: SUMMER 2012 EDITION -- WITH PHOTOS!!")
  3. THE GUY FROM THE BAR - LA
    HOW WE MET: He was so attractive that when he walked by I literally grabbed him, told him I was interviewing people for a blog (I don't have a blog) and asked him questions to figure out if he was gay (he was) / single (he claimed he was, but he was not. We both lied.) HOW IT ENDED: We went roller skating. I slept over. He let me use a pair of his daily disposable contact lenses (turns out we had the same prescription.) Later I left a pair of contacts on his doorstep so that I owed him nothing.
  4. THE OLDER GUY IN BOSTON - BOSTON
    HOW WE MET: We were both very drunk at a pub called JJ Foley's in the financial district with our straight friends, and were both so shocked that there was another gay person in said pub that after telling him how much I liked his sweater we shared a kiss. I think he liked my innocence. HOW IT ENDED: I was moving to LA and he told me I couldn't enter the professional world with the Comcast email I made in 7th grade. He bought me a bagel and then made me the Gmail account I use to this day.
  5. THE FRAMER - LA
    HOW WE MET: Scruff. In his photo he was clothed, handsome and holding a large bundle of organic chard. If you have been on Scruff you know this is nothing short of a miracle. He was a farmer who lived in Highland Park, but I called him a "framer" because I was pretty sure he was framing me, meaning he was too good to be true and also maybe too old. HOW IT ENDED: He was framing me, and he was too old. I texted him the Oscar Wilde quote "I am not young enough to know everything" to say farewell.
  6. THE BOY I DATED IN HIGH SCHOOL WHO WAS NOT THE BOY I WAS IN LOVE WITH - NORTHAMPTON
    HOW WE MET: He went to the fancy private school and I went to the hippie public charter school. Mutual friends introduced us and one summer we spent kissing in cars during thunderstorms doing the things teenage people do when they are still learning the songs of themselves. HOW IT ENDED: He was not the boy I was love with. (But sometimes, when I am in New York, I sneak off to find him, and we pretend we are teenagers again, singing the songs of ourselves to each other before we have to go.)