FACEBOOK "PEOPLE YOU MAY KNOW" IS JUST LIKE

  1. Here's that guy you went on one Tinder date with who told you he just didn't feel a "connection-connection" ☺️
  2. Actually here's every fella you've ever kissed who didn't text you back and look how handsome they all are in their charmed little lives, all of these whimsical, beautiful lives they lead, looking so handsome, their big smiles and blue eyes and nice sweaters, without you ☺️
  3. Here's that girl you had one gen ed class with in college who was very wealthy and sad ☺️
  4. Here's that lady from work you chatted with once ☺️
  5. In fact here's every single person in your entire office ☺️
  6. Oh and here's someone who has a nonsense name composed of an adjective like Juicy and a misspelled noun with an assortment of mutual friends that don't align in any way shape or form and a stock image of a tree as a profile picture ☺️
  7. And while we're at it here's your therapist from high school ☺️
  8. And here's the sexy sociopath on the outskirts of your friend group who you swear flirts with you at parties but will never request you before you request him but you are a little tempted to just pull the god damn trigger and get in there to do some light to mild stalking but the thought of giving him that satisfaction is sickening ☺️
  9. And here's the sexy sociopath on the outskirts of your friend group who you swear flirts with you at parties but will never request you before you request him but you are a little tempted to just pull the god damn trigger and get in there to do some light to mild stalking but the thought of giving him that satisfaction is sickening's mother ☺️
  10. Maybe I'll just friend her.