HOW DINNER WITH THE GUY I DATED FOR 3 CRAZY MONTHS PRECISELY 1 YEAR AGO WENT

This is a sequel to REASONS WHY I MIGHT BE GETTING DINNER WITH A GUY I DATED FOR 3 CRAZY MONTHS PRECISELY 1 YEAR AGO (REASONS WHY I MIGHT BE GETTING DINNER WITH A GUY I DATED FOR 3 CRAZY MONTHS PRECISELY 1 YEAR AGO)
  1. Uh. Well.
  2. We went to this cute lil cottage/bungalow that's disguised as a restaurant that I've always wanted to try/move into because I was like yo I'm gonna go big or go home on this one I don't care how expensive it is.
    Look at that fucking bungalow
  3. He looked super fooking cute as always he kinda grew out his hair and that pissed me off cause it was v sexy but I looked good too cause I busted out my Thanksgiving shirt early given this emergency circumstance 🚨🦃👕
    @originalamericantrt approved // look at that look of pained apprehension and sad fear lol lol lol lol
  4. So uh we sort of fell exactly into the rhythms I had remembered, the way that people do, because no one really ever changes, and we kept forgetting what we knew and didn't know about one another, and it was surreal, and of course Grace, our Australian sever, coaxed us into ordering a bottle of wine, which wasn't a tough sell given the circumstances
  5. It didn't take long to start reminiscing about our past life and down the rabbit hole we fell... 🌀
  6. Luckily 12 weeks ago I had listed pretty much everything retroactively, SEE LIST: "OH THE PLACES YOU'LL GO ON A MARATHON DATE IN DTLA! (A RECOVERED LIST FROM NOV 2014)"
  7. Oh and course the brutal end, SEE LIST: "A SEQUEL TO OH THE PLACES YOU'LL GO ON A MARATHON DATE IN DTLA! (A RECOVERED LIST FROM NOV 2014)"
  8. No joke I spent the entire night biting my tongue, having to remind myself not to tell him him about / talk about List App which I realized quickly was VERY hard (!!)
    If you found List App on your own, hi. I'm so sorry. I hope you don't mind. But... I was here first
  9. Highlight: I spilled coffee on myself while trying to apologize for something I didn't need to apologize about. Thank you universe?
  10. His immediate reaction was to say "Are you ok, man?" And the fact that he called me "man" in this moment truly brutalized me beyond the fact that coffee was all over my body.
  11. of course after dinner he had to go back to my apartment to watch music videos.
  12. I forgot nearly $20 worth of left over slow cooked lamb in the Uber and it is still killing me softly
  13. I had not seen the music video to Beib's "Sorry" which was disturbing to both of us and so of course he put it on, and of course something snapped within me - I instantly was able to mimic the dances in the vid with the precision of a trained dancer
  14. (the choreography came into my body like a spirit, and I started expertly dancing in my living room w/ abandon and he was like... vvv impressed)
  15. Of course it was somewhere in here that he broke the touch barrier.
  16. (He is always the one to do it and it is always remarkably distinct, and bold, and the ship turns course, and my heart beats all crazy and dumb)
  17. Of course I put on that video of Adele singing When We Were Young in a church because I'm a fucking idiot and wanted to hurt my feelings I guess and of course I snap chatted him watching it because I have truly no chill
  18. We went to a bar my friends were at in Santa Monica, which is a shocking distance from my apartment, but it's close to where he lives.
  19. The geography of all of this is a nightmare, I can't even begin to explain. It's always been one of the problems here, that this clown lives by the ocean, so far from me, with or without traffic, and he doesn't own a car, (for environmental reasons) 🙃
    This problem ranking second only to his crippling inability to communicate clearly.
  20. Of course the bar was a karaoke bar, and of course while he was in the bathroom I approached the proctor with such confidence he allowed me to jump the line.
  21. I sang I Try by Macy Gray, because it is my best song. The crowd pleaser.
  22. When he came out of the bathroom, the entire bar was crowded around the stage, cheering and dancing, singing along to Macy/me.
    This was my exact plan.
  23. He put his arm around me at one point
  24. And I wrapped my arms around his waist
  25. And we drank beers
  26. When there wasn't a seat for me in my friend's Uber back East I was secretly happy.
  27. We went to another bar, like we've done before, to have that one last drink we always didn't need.
  28. Outside, after last call, we had too long a hug
  29. that turned into a kiss
  30. And I was this sloppy sort of person, saying all sorts of shit, all the cool confidence gone, back to square one, holding onto this fucking guy, this dumb cute blonde haired blue eyed smart idiot fool of a freak who uses message read receipts and wants to be a dad and doesn't know what he wants from me with his bad jokes and selective confidence
  31. Because I think that's just what happens on this kind of night
  32. At least to me
  33. On the kind of night you make the choice to let someone break your heart again.
  34. hahahahahahahahahahaha no joke though I truly truly truly hope he doesn't join List App lol lol lol lol