THE STAGES OF CALLING OUT A GIRL I KNEW IN MIDDLE SCHOOL FOR HER RACIST FACEBOOK POST

The post, which she did not compose herself, but which she shared: "A black man shoots and kills two white people; reporters, just doing their job. But, there will be no rioting. No signs being held that say 'White Lives Matter.' No calls for flags to come down. No blaming the black community..."
  1. Anger
    Composed the response. Called the post tone deaf and idiotic. Told her if she couldn't separate the tragedy in VA with the BLM movement she was ignorant. That kinda thing.
  2. Doubt
    Googled many of the words in my response. I know what the words I used in my response mean. I just needed to be sure. I wanted to learn them again, in this moment, for this purpose. I thought of some new words and re-learned those.
  3. Fear
    I hate confrontation. I hate confrontation. I hate confrontation.
  4. BUT FUUUUCCCCCKK THAT
    WE ARE SO FUCKING AFRAID OF TALKING ABOUT RACE IN THIS COUNTRY IT IS ABSURD. FUCK HER WHITE FRAGILITY. FUCK IGNORING THIS SHIT. LET'S FUCKING GO.
  5. Determination
    I post the post
  6. Anticipation
    Will she respond? Will someone scarier than her respond, like the kid who used to shove me into a locker and call me faggot? I'll take him on. I don't care. Fuck him.
  7. SHE DELETED MY COMMENT
  8. ANGER. MORE ANGER.
  9. I message her "Did you delete my comment?"
    Because I'm like - did I even post it? Maybe I didn't post it? Also fuck that. You rewriting history like that. Erasure. Fucking typical.
  10. She's all like "I sure did. I'm allowed to post what I want on my Facebook."
  11. And then I get super super angry like I'm shaking angry because of course she would say something like that and I'm all like "HAHAHA right right ok that's chill. Sorry to see that, though not surprised, you don't have the interest (or I'd guess the capacity) to engage in any sort of educated dialogue about what you posted, how fucked it is, etc"
  12. UGH BUT THEN IM LIKE
    Is this even productive?? Like, it's not, right? I basically called her an idiot and a coward which she is but then it's just a white liberal and a white conservative having a digital pissing match. How could I actually bring any sort of effective understanding to this woman?? White people SHUT THE FUCK DOWN when they feel attacked. Especially when a liberal gets loud at a conservative.
  13. BUT AM I SUPPOSED TO TIP TOE AROUND THIS SHIT???!
  14. She doesn't respond. I think because she doesn't have to. She can just go back to her shit. She can delete the post, go back to her life. That's kind of the mega point here. She can simply. delete. the post. and go. foreword. un. scathed. Like it never happened. Back to her life.
  15. A life I catch myself casting all these judgements on, btw:
    She's just hometown trash. She's uneducated. Whatever. Her life must suck. She never left. I got away. I'm living my dream. I'm fucking cooler than her. I'm smarter than her.
  16. But that's how I find solace? By out-privileging her? By being elitist and (likely) classist?
  17. I don't know.
  18. I'm at a loss.
  19. Maybe I should delete my Facebook.
  20. Fuck.
  21. Why is it impossible for white people to talk about race.
  22. Why is it impossible for white people to talk about race.
  23. Why is it impossible for white people to talk about race.