THOUGHTS ON THE DAY AFTER WRAPPING MY FIRST SEASON WORKING ON GREY'S ANATOMY

  1. Remember the code black episode?
  2. Well if you don't, it's the one where the man has a bomb in his body cavity
  3. And Meredith puts her hand on it
  4. To save the guy from bleeding out
  5. Because the paramedic, played expertly by, of all people, Christina Ricci, is too fearful to keep her hand on it once she finds out it's a bomb
  6. That was the first episode of Grey's Anatomy I ever saw. I was seventeen years old. My Nana said I had to watch it with her after the Super Bowl.
  7. I was sold. I was hooked. I cried. My world was shook. My mind was blown.
  8. I was a closeted 17 year old watching the show with my Nana, and it spoke to me like a goddamn sermon, and my Nana was like Right?! It's so good!! My Nana, 70-whatever years old, who like — I don't know ... She was just ahead of her time. She was so sharp. She was a survivor of so much.
  9. She got Grey's.
  10. And so did I.
  11. And I watched it all from the beginning.
  12. And then I caught up.
  13. And then I watched religiously.
  14. I owned the DVD box sets and the poster and the sound tracks and board game.
    (Yes, there was a board game)
  15. I watched the pick me choose me love me episode and I vividly remember stepping outside, into the driveway, to call That Guy, you know — the high school Guy we all had, That Guy who was my Derek Shepard, I called That Guy on my Razr flip phone and I said pick me choose me love me without saying pick me choose me love me
  16. Because Grey's was/is about mortality. About love. And why not choose love, being mortal as we all are
  17. And there was so much crazy shit — the shootings and the plane crash and the musical episode and Isaiah Washington said faggot and Katherine Heigl in general, you know: all the shit you read about. all the people that gave up watching (all the deaths. so many deaths. who could blame them? for quitting? not for the weak of heart, this show)
  18. But I was invested AF.
  19. Anyways
  20. I took the show to college with me. It was my teddy bear. I didn't miss an episode.
  21. And the sad part of this story is — my Nana dies
  22. (Mortality and love)
  23. Right before I graduate
  24. (Like a episode of Grey's.)
    She smoked herself to death
  25. That sweet, salty, funny, rude, irreverent, strong old (but not old enough to die) woman.
  26. That woman who saw me and got me for me before the rest of 'em did
  27. One of my very best friends.
  28. Now let me fast forward to the part where, at that graduation ceremony, the one Nana should have mother fucking been at, the legendary Debbie Allen received an honorary degree. And I said to myself — isn't that Catherine Avery?
  29. (It was)
  30. (But Debbie Allen is leagues, light years, universes more than Catherine Avery)
  31. And lucky me
  32. When one serendipitous introduction later, I would, fast forwarding again, become her executive assistant.
  33. And she'd become the directing executive producer of Grey's in its 12th season.
  34. And there I would be
  35. With an office (!!!!!??) at Grey's Anatomy
  36. Sitting next to Ellen Pompeo at video village
  37. Shooting the shit
  38. My heart in knots
  39. Her and I now friends
  40. Singing and dancing to Beyoncé between set ups, laughing like fiends
  41. Nana look!
  42. Nana look what we did...
  43. God
  44. I miss you
  45. I miss you so much
  46. Hey. Remember how one of the last conversations you and I had, you had watched Grey's before me? I was so behind. It was finals.
    (No spoilers!!)
  47. You said — I don't want to give anything away, but after you watch, answer me this:
  48. What do you think is going to happen next?