THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T DO DURING YOUR ANNUAL PERFORMANCE REVIEW

But I did...all of them...today. Shockingly; still employed
  1. Swear
  2. Tell him you have a bad attitude
  3. Tear up
  4. Pretend you're not tearing up
  5. Flat out cry
  6. Admit to having PMS
  7. Flat out ugly cry
  8. Tell your boss not to look at you
  9. Snot everywhere
  10. Tell him that you're not going to finish your review today
  11. Take the afternoon off
  12. Leave without saying goodbye
  13. I just want to digress and say that my boss said absolutely nothing to me that would have warranted ANY of this- unless all of these things are an appropriate response to "you're doing a great job"