Things I've experienced or seen at work that I could put into a script

Or a spec script for Superstore I mean...
  1. A woman grabbing my hair and sniffing it, deeply, after I told her how the mousse I use smells really nice.
  2. My coworker yelling "SECURITY TO ZONE THREE" over the store PA system (we don't have a zone three, or any zones for that matter) and me faking that I am said security and sprinting to a location where a girl was shoving stuff into her sleeves
  3. A terrible dye job that I told the girl was "goals" and "amazing" because I'm an asshole
  4. A woman who yelled "EXCUUUUSEEE MEEE!" at the top of her lungs when I got distracted for 3 seconds my a cute kid.
  5. A woman insisting she was 'Rich Tan' in a foundation when I matched her to 'Porcelain'. She bought 'Rich Tan' and was then pronounced queen of the Oompa Loompas
  6. My boss hearing the hand dryer go off in the bathroom during a morning meeting when no one was in there and knowing with all her heart that it was a ghost.
  7. My boss hitting a turkey while driving to work and it shattering her windshield
  8. Hearing someone accidentally call the Laura Geller brand "Helen Keller"
  9. A woman going to slap her kid and her kid moving at the last minute, slapping my coworker hard on the leg
  10. A woman saying she uses black sharpie as eyeliner