Cancer Survival Tips for Urrybody

I don't mean to get too dark-sided here, but having experienced stage IV cancer firsthand and powered through it, I thought it could be helpful to share some of my survival tips for the greater good
  1. Go East, young (wo)man
    Western medicine is your most powerful asset when getting cancer treatment but eastern medicine has its own role in healing and I stand behind it fully. Acupuncture, Chinese herbs, reiki- all super helpful even if the effects aren't immediately tangible.
  2. Smoke (or eat) pot
    Conventional wisdom about the healing powers of pot is not bogus - marijuana is instrumental in relieving pain caused by chemo and surgery, and also relaxes the mind, which is the best thing of all. Oh, and plenty of evidence that cannibis has anti-tumor properties, so roll up a j and enjoy, people.
  3. Curcumin
    An anti-inflammatory encapsulated form of turmeric, this shit helps keep your cells in check and has incredible healing properties - check it out on the interwebs.
  4. Eat well
    It goes without saying that a good diet is part and parcel of a healthy lifestyle, but the stakes are higher when your body is rendered vulnerable by cancer, so up your intake of organic fruits- particularly berries and apples- and make sure you're gettin' your veggies in, too. High fiber is the way, yall.
  5. Don't drink a lot
    Alcohol is fun, yes, but when you're at war with the big C, ya gotta keep your liver working at optimal levels. To this end, booze is not your friend, except in moderation.
  6. Exercise, exercise, exercise
    After a chemo infusion, the last thing you feel like doing is dragging your ass to the gym, but trust me - cancer hates a well-maintained body. Moving keeps your cholesterol low, improves your circulation and is good for your heart and mind. Even walking works - just get to steppin' one way or another
  7. Watch funny shit
    After surgery and/or chemo, it's kinda hard to find humor in anything, but it'll come back in spades when you find something truly funny. I credit South Park and amy schumer and the comedic stylings of @vp with reigniting my funny bone, and am of the belief that laughter is an effective medicine in and of itself.
  8. Get a little help from your friends
    When shit gets real rough, you'll quickly learn who your real friends are. Cancer ain't something you gotta deal with all alone - make time to socialize and hang out with your friends and family, and for those who know someone who's going thru cancer, just DO stuff for them (cooking dinner, sending thoughtful things, etc) instead of asking, "can I do anything?" @vp @molltodd @carolineduncan @lspencer ❤️❤️❤️❤️👍👍
  9. Get a therapist
    If you're in New York, you Likely have one anyhow, but seeing a licensed professional is an integral part of the healing process to help combat anxiety, fear, etc.
  10. Sleep like its going out of style
    Make sure you get plenty of restful sleep whilst going through cancer, even if it requires a little help from ambien or lunesta or Xanax or whatever. Sleep provides much needed recovery and aim to get as much as your body will allow.
  11. Find something mindless and enjoyable to fall back on
    In my case, this took the form of candy crush saga, which provided me with countless hours of mindless entertainment whilst waiting hours and hours for chemo. Other ideas include US weekly, crosswords, and trashy TV.
  12. Ask questions
    Your oncologist will likely not tell you much beyond what you NEED to know, but that doesn't mean you can't ask questions. After all, your doctor works for you.
  13. Subscribe to "US Weekly". Trashy magazines do wonders to the mind - because celebrities are like us!
    Suggested by   @lspencer
  14. Pamper yoself
    Mani, pedi, massage, whatever - permit yourself to treat your body like a spoiled yorkie. Focus on your pleasure!
  15. Get a dog!
    Suggested by   @vp
  16. Melatonin
    Yes, the herbal sleep supplement! This shit is magic - studies have shown it to aid in prevention of breast and GI cancers, and it has antioxidizing properties fo shizz. I took it in 15-20 mg doses every night, and it helps you sleep, to boot.
  17. Green tea Extract
    Cancers are all different and incomparable by stage, but green tea extract is an undisputed antioxidizing agent, and promotes overall cellular health. This shit is good for urryone, and i think a good way to boost your immunity whilst receiving chemo- and post-treatment as well.