1. Missy Elliot as Dorothy
    Past precedent dictates that Dorothy can be played by 40+
  2. Meryl Streep as Toto
    I mean, why the fuck not? She can do everything else.
  3. John Travolta as Aunt Em
    We already know his expertise in playing heavy-set women in musicals
  4. 50-cent as Scarecrow
    I think he'll bring some much needed chutzpah to the role
  5. Janet Jackson as Glinda
    Gotta have at least one Jackson up in this piece
  6. Bobby Brown as Tinman
    He needs work. Badly.
  7. Blu Cantrell as Lion
    Gurl got a mane already
  8. Bjork as Miss One
    She'll add a nice element of creepiness
  9. Leslie Jones as Evilene
    Cuz she funny
  10. Snoop Dogg as The Wiz
  11. Guest appearances by: Claire Danes! Ashanti! Q-tip! And Jane Seymour, aka the most romantic woman in the world