How to Speak Long Islandese Like a Pro

Caveat: i grew up there, so I know. I also know not urrybody sounds like this. Lastly, i still got ❤️ for you, Long Island.
  1. 1.
    Increase your vocal decibel level by like, 125%
    Long Islanders tend not to believe in the concept of inside voice
  2. 2.
    Change all of your o's to AWWWW
    Dog = DAWG, coffee = KAWFY, etc.
  3. 3.
    Don't Pronounce the "g" in any word that ends with one (except in the case of "Long Island, which is really LAWN-GUY-LIN
    Going = goin', coming = comin'
  4. 4.
    Randomly replace the ending of words that conclude with "a" to "er"
    Soda = SODER, bar mitzvah = bar MITZver
  5. 5.
    Leave OFF the R in other words when it appears at the end, and replace it with a YUH
    lawyer = law-yuh, here = hea or he-yuh, crier = cry-yuh
  6. 6.
    Never round your long u/ew sounds (or long a sounds for that matter) - keep that shit TIGHT
    New = noo; Tuesday = twos-dey
  7. 7.
    Drop the "h" when it follows "t" (usually at the end of a word, but sometimes even at the beginning!)
    Cloth = CLAWT, both = BOAT, with = WIT or WID, but also this = DIS, three = TREE
  8. 8.
    Refer to people in Nassau County as those who live "up the island"
  9. 9.
    Refer to the people who live in Suffolk County as "out on the island" or, in the case of the Hamptons, "out East."
  10. 10.
    Abbreve shit for no reas.
    Totally = totes, amazing = amaze, dumplings = dumps, margaritas = margs
  11. 11.
    Say "like," like, a lot.
  12. 12.
    Never say "hi" or "hello." Just say, "hey." Like, totes quick.
  13. 13.
    Lastly, turn up the speed of your speech by about 50-75%, and don't give a shit about slurring your speech sometimes!