How to Speak Long Islandese Like a Pro
Caveat: i grew up there, so I know. I also know not urrybody sounds like this. Lastly, i still got ❤️ for you, Long Island.
- 1.Increase your vocal decibel level by like, 125%Long Islanders tend not to believe in the concept of inside voice
- 2.Change all of your o's to AWWWWDog = DAWG, coffee = KAWFY, etc.
- 3.Don't Pronounce the "g" in any word that ends with one (except in the case of "Long Island, which is really LAWN-GUY-LINGoing = goin', coming = comin'
- 4.Randomly replace the ending of words that conclude with "a" to "er"Soda = SODER, bar mitzvah = bar MITZver
- 5.Leave OFF the R in other words when it appears at the end, and replace it with a YUHlawyer = law-yuh, here = hea or he-yuh, crier = cry-yuh
- 6.Never round your long u/ew sounds (or long a sounds for that matter) - keep that shit TIGHTNew = noo; Tuesday = twos-dey
- 7.Drop the "h" when it follows "t" (usually at the end of a word, but sometimes even at the beginning!)Cloth = CLAWT, both = BOAT, with = WIT or WID, but also this = DIS, three = TREE
- 8.Refer to people in Nassau County as those who live "up the island"
- 9.Refer to the people who live in Suffolk County as "out on the island" or, in the case of the Hamptons, "out East."
- 10.Abbreve shit for no reas.Totally = totes, amazing = amaze, dumplings = dumps, margaritas = margs
- 11.Say "like," like, a lot.
- 12.Never say "hi" or "hello." Just say, "hey." Like, totes quick.
- 13.Lastly, turn up the speed of your speech by about 50-75%, and don't give a shit about slurring your speech sometimes!