Shit My Husband Says
@lspencer knows he's spoiled, and part of the reason I honor his requests is the way in which he asks for things, as per below. Add in your own personal faves from yalls better halves!!
- •"Do me a fruit and cheese plate"I think it's adorable that @lspencer still uses the verbs "to do" and "to make" interchangeably (common mistake among many romance language speakers) and therefore I usually will go ahead and slice some apples for him along with grapes and a little light Gouda.
- •"Do weed"Again, love how he doesn't get bogged down in verb choice, but this means "roll a joint for me."
- •"He's Jew"I love explaining to @lspencer that in America, you can say "He's Jewish" or "he is a Jew" but "he is Jew" won't really fly up in dis bitch
- •"Adore me"By this he usually means "touch and/or pet me gently like you would a puppy."
- •"TaDINHO!"This is Portuguese for "poor little thing"- kinda like pobrecito, only more patronizing.
- •"Poobs"This is how Luis pronounced and still occasionally pronounces the word "pubes."
- •"Mini needs to play"By play, he means video games, which means I have to relinquish control of the living room television and either watch him be a Mage and kill orcs or do my own thang. Also, mini is his nickname because he is relatively small (5'8" or so)
- •"Pat and Vanna hate each other"A rumor he's been trying to spread for 2+ years
- •"Bring me coffee!"Sometimes Luis won't get out of bed unless I hand-deliver a sweetened, lightened cup of joe to him, bedside.
- •"I miss 'princesses of long island'"We all do, hon.
- •"Let's watch housewives of OC."Music to my ears that I found a straight man who enjoys watching tv that makes me happy (he secretly loves it too...)Suggested by @jeanette
- •"Too cold!" - expression used when Dave heats up chinese food for me and I want it warmer. He proceeds to go and reheat it for me. <3Suggested by @lspencer
- •I have to bend my clothes.My Venezuelan ex spoke excellent English but insisted on "bending" rather than "folding" his clean laundry. He would also call me his Amazon princess because I was 3 inches taller than him.Suggested by @saytrumbo